take it easy, until i make it on my own

"christina: "that just made my day!" i'm happy for you hun! its the lil things.. now go do something about your happiness! GIGGIDY GIGGIDY GIGGIDY...ALRIGHT!!! " (jess's blog)

... i don't know. maybe its time for me to move on. maybe its time for me to move beyond you. after tonight, that exactly what i need.

that thing, that moment, when you kiss someone and everything around you becomes hazy and the only thing in focus is you and this person and you realize that that person is the only person that you're supposed to kiss for the rest of your life, and for one moment you get this amazing gift and you want to laugh and you want to cry because you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared that that it will go away all at the same time.

sometimes i feel like my whole life is like spilt coffee. i can’t explain it, but i wish i could. i’m afraid of the familiarity of all these feelings. i don’t want to relapse to who i used to be - who we used to be. i don’t want to regress to what once was. i don’t want to go back there, because life should only ever move forward. and with you, that's not happening. and i know, its just hurts so much.

* ONE TREE HILL tonight! oh yeah ... *

recent watched movies : coyote ugly, halloween, cruel intentions.

things have been so unclear lately, maybe that's why my words are just blending in together. sorry if this isn't my uplifting, guys. next entry will be, promise.

[ i will lean into you. and you can be the wind. i will open up my mouth and you can come rushing in. you can rush in so hard and make it so i can't breathe. i breathe too much anyway. i can do that anyday. ]

screw that shit. it's all up to you now. i'm not waiting around for someone who doesn't exist anymore. maybe he never did.

p.s.- i changed the address, because i don't feel like dealing with him anymore. or her, and her constant need to tell me how unworthy i am. when i know deep down, she's only protecting herself. but i don't need it thrown in my face. i'm here. he's there. the end.