... lift me up until the ground gives way ...

new year.
put the past away.
2005.

goals :

- spring semester at cortland ... pass every class with at least a B-. this may not sound hard, but with the past semester over with, i've realized i can't just slide by. i need to motivate myself. -

i wanna break this spell that i've created. [ muse. ]

- miss only one (two if necessary) class for each course. keep up with homework and reading. (that damn reading gets me.) -

every minute is a mile, i've never felt so hollow. [ brand new. ]

- try to go to sleep at a reasonal time, which shouldn't be that hard. i trust that diana will embrace the role of our mother on this one. and i also trust that jess will come in on this one too. jess ... will you serenade me with jewel if i can't fall asleep? please? * puppy dog eyes .... the "please don't cry" face * ;) -

put on my pj's and hop into bed, i'm half alive but i feel mostly dead. i try and tell myself it'll be all right, i just shouldn't think anymore tonight. [ jewel. ]

- going with that, try to have more fun on the weekends to balance out these studious acts.-

i don't understand why would you want to bring me down. cause i just need a little space to breathe. [ lindsay lohan. ]

- make the decision. with the necessary people, either sever the tie or mend what is broken. -

i walk a lonely road, the only one that i have ever known. don't know where it goes, but it's home to me and i walk alone. i walk this empty street on the boulevard of broken dreams. my shadow's the only one that walks beside me. my shallow heart's the only thing that's beating. [ green day. ]

- be less neurotic. try to loosen up more. relax. not everything is black and white. things will fall into place and its okay if i don't always get what i want, or the person i want. its not the end of the world. you can't make someone be who you want them to be. -

i'm quiet you know, you make a first impression. i've found i'm scared to know i'm always on your mind. even the best fall down sometimes. even the stars refuse to shine. out of the doubt that fills my mind. i somehow find, you and i collide. [ howie day. ]

- on that note, this for a certain someone. i know that i'm not the easiest person to get along with. sometimes i am stubborn and come off as snobbish and i also know that you know me better than anyone else ever has and that means that you know my heart. you let me speak my mind and i rarely have to worry about hurting your feelings. i have to accept that its okay when we argue and disagree about things. -

well, the only thing that seems to work at all is you,so please don't change. please don't change at all. [ matchbox twenty. ]

- find my way back to expressing myself more. every day, and not just when its building up to the point of bursting and pushing me to the edge of fragility. writing things down is the best way to move past things. i need that. -

beneath this wave, i just can't take your breath away. you cut me down, you know i'll always be around. [ breaking benjamin. ]