break out, child

these thoughts aren't smooth, but instead fragmented, forced. so here it goes.

i'm falling and i'm crawling. i'm crashing and i'm yearning. i'm needing you but needing more. i need more than any one person can give me. i need more than is possible. my mind is numb. my thoughts are not clear. i can't focus. i can't concentrate. i can't find myself. i'm searching through the fog. there's nothing left to hold on to. it scares me when i feel this way. idon'tcareidon'tcare.

leave my wings behind / drive this little girl insane / and fly away to someone new.

(if it was only that easy to leave it behind.) the more i try to make this worth while, the more i feel my eyes burning up. what does she have that i don’t? but i don’t want to say these things because i don’t want to come between you. ihateitihateitihateit. (did i say i was okay? well, no way. no way way way.) emotional-stupid-niave-girl-chaos-mess.

i just feel like i am holding out for something. but there is this void growing inside of me. and i just want to rip it out of myself. or fill it up with something else (someone else).

basically, what we have here is a dreamer. when she jumped, she probably thought she'd fly.

metric tons :
i want that feeling back. that sensation. that rush. what songs make you hollow and can we listen to them so i can make you complete? can we lie on the floor, turn them up, and feel the chords rush over through our bodies? can i sweep you away? all i really want to know is, can we just breathe?

but for now, i find its only in my dreams