write your soul down – word for word.

okay. update.

playground. midnight (not twoAM.) mixture of emotions and fog and love and hostility (thrown in the direction of two) and light and whatever else i was feeling (what were you feeling?) it was so easy to let my words tumble out – i wasn’t worried about bringing anyone down with my petty insecurities. results = connection and relieved and emptiness (but in that way where you feel lighter and i’m okay now).

so one more day down
and everybody's changing
one soft sweet sound
is just enough to clear my head

(it was something i really needed. somewhere else. with someone else. what you told me. what you did. changes everything. those four words dragged me under.)

cry when you cry, run when you run
love when you love
represent the ashes
that you leave behind

and, tonight. brought back memories of younger days. when we were younger. this cycle … (kids. freedom. fun. transition. growing up slowly. change. love. you speeding ahead – me gracefully pacing behind. college. leaving behind. i know where i am in the cycle, but where are you?) tonight made me realize just how much both of us have changed. but i guess that was to be expected.

there are so many ways to be connected to people. there are the people you feel this unspoken connection to, even though there's not even a word for it. there's the people who you've known forever, who know you in this way that other people can't because they've seen you change. they've let you change …

and its okay. i know that now. we're okay. and i have faith in that.

i have a secret. one that i don’t know if i can hold on to without letting it slip through the corners of my smile. lately … i haven't had a clue about what i want from life except that i want to be happy (and you make me happy.) i think that i hurt a lot more than i'm used to these days. i'm still adjusting to watching myself come unglued and letting that happen. because it's natural and it's human.

you think i’m weak - but i think you’re wrong.






p.s. - alyssa, you said to post in our blogs what we want for christmas, and i've been thinking about it and if you could knit a hat, that would be the coolest thing ever and i would love you for-ever. :)