you're no jesus

i realize now that .. a lot has changed. i have changed. which, isn’t necessarily a bad thing. in fact, i’ll embrace it. i need it.

i used to be. uncomplicated. genuine. something has changed and its not that simple anymore. everything is so wound up and twisted around words/emotions/betrayal/who’s this and who’s that/feelings we couldn’t possibly understand.

maybe she's there
maybe there's nothing to see
just a trace of what used to be

here. i get lost in the beauty of everyone else. i want to capture the vitality of each person around me. because i get so wrapped up in all the could-have-been’s and all the negative-spins i put on things. (don’t worry, because i’m working on that too).

i’m that one voice in the cold wind that whispers; if you listen you’ll hear me call across the sky.

and on another subject ... the more i talk to him, the more i see him, the more the world crumbles away. i wouldn’t trade it for anything.

how do you do it, make me feel like i do
how do you do it, it's better than i ever knew
you are stellar

i went home for the weekend. (nothing there is worth hanging on to. that’s really hard to say. i hope you know.) i saw katie. and liz. and kb (which, just so you know, i appreciate you more than you know). i belong here now. i was there. and i wanted to be here. i missed jess, and diana, and nic (my forth room-y. :)), and all of the people i see and make small talk with every day. i can’t imagine it any other way.

diana : i was on top of that bitch!

nic : i’m not being nice to you for .. the rest of the night!

me (to jess) : the rabbit is coming out of your ass ... don’t worry, i pulled it out!

:)

baby, baby keep me happy
baby, baby keep me happy