ain't no rhyme or reason

I am so exhausted. but I can't sleep. yet.
b/c I have to work tonight.
I have to make it at least until 4am
or else
work will be hell. literally. with crazies probably.
b/c that's just my luck lately.
so. instead. I am listening to depressing music.
that makes me want to run away. and contemplating my life decisions.
but. oh. in a good way. I am reconsidering nursing.
and reconsidering social work.
I can still con the hospital into paying for it. and in the mean time
I need the same sorts of classes at least for now and spring semester.
so I have time.
I just don't want to be stuck doing something I hate for the rest of my life.
which I don't really know if I would hate it.
I just don't know. I guess that's the point.
isn't there a dress rehearsal for this kind of thing?




[ and when you fall apart
am I the reason for your endless sorrow.
there's so much to be said.
and with a broken heart.
your walls can only go down,
but so low.
can you hear me.
when I call your name. ]