perfect facade.

will you wait for me, in time.
it's never my luck, so i'll say nevermind.
and i've lost a lot of what i don't expect to ever return.
i tend to push them 'til the pushing's turned from hurt into burn
i always take them to that place i thought they wanted to go
than end up dancing 'round
this clown commands applause at his show.


~ and that's exactly it. i don't even know where i'm going. but it's never the right place. it's never where he wanted. it's never what i thought was exactly what he wanted. i push and i push... and then i push some more until i am so far past drowning that i have no choices. it's just me. alone. crazy. and then we pretend it never happened. we never fight. we are perfectly happy and perfectly perfect. except for the fact that i am unhappy a good percentage of the time. until i break. and then i realize it's not so bad. let the cycle repeat. it's not so bad. ~